a piece from a few weeks ago that focused on the now-blurring social boundaries between animals and humans, the debate over which has been sparked by the new arm of the E-Harmony empire, E-Humany. Immediately after the piece was published, we received loads of feedback (and feedbags...you know, for the animals) that were both honest and polarizing. We've also gotten word of several instances where people are standing up against animals in a way only they know how. Since then, the debate over animal equality has hit it's boiling point leaving wondering what comes next.
"I called the only person I could think of," sand Winthrop. "I said, 'who's the Jesse Jackson for dogs?' Turns out, Jesse Jackson is the Jesse Jackson for dogs. And he had seen the police doing the same thing all over the country, from Birmingham, Alabama to Montgomery, Alabama- and everywhere in between, including Mobile. Only in the south, or in our case, the southland." Since then he has joined the cause for black-animal equality, dubbing it the 'civil ruff movement' despite incessant reminders that it's not just black animals that are the problem- it's the fact that animal-related regulations seem to change depending on what's convenient for the local authorities- and almost always in favor of the small dogs.
"There's only so many times I can save Christmas or Easter or someone's life to then have them tell me I can't drink from the same water bowl. It shouldn't take that much work just to earn the respect of my peer group, much less a cold drink."
"But what about the many pundits who claim your peer group begins and ends with other dogs" we asked through our translator (otherwise our question would have sounded like nothing more than a few notes from a muted trombone)?
"30 years ago, man, maybe I could have seen why someone would think that," Snoopy said, after taking a long draw on his cigarette. "But look at the world today. Dogs wear people clothes man. They eat at the dinner table. They sleep indoors for Christ sake! Do you know how many winters I almost died because that fuck Charlie just left me out there? I joined the Christmas pageant because the theater was warm. That was my main motivation."
Snoopy isn't the only despondent activist today. Many who once championed the dog movement now sit on the brink of it's entire collapse. And while they've still got some fight in them, it's clear that specific cases like these will continue to pop up, even long after the laws are changed.
Should you or anyone you know be a dog, talk to them. Ask them why they want to be in a Starbucks to begin with. I think you'll find their answers much more intriguing than expected.
*the last name has always been implied.