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Friday, May 28, 2010

Disneyland Unveils 'Tinkletown' Amidst Pee-Pee Law Suit

On the heels of their recent settlement, Disney has announced they will be making some changes to their  themeparks in Orlando, FL and Anaheim, CA.  The decision comes after a landmark case found that the company wasn't addressing the concerns of parents and children alike who complained about unclean bathrooms, long lines, and several 'accidents' in their pants causing fits of crying and temper tantrums.  The parks, knowing full well what was going on, had been selling diapers in many of their gift shops at a price so marked up you'd wonder if you'd have to dip into your retirement to ensure your kid had dry pants.  Adult diapers were even more staggeringly priced, a constant reminder that Grandma probably shouldn't have come with you on your family vacation that year.  But familial obligations weren't an issue for park-goers.  And once that group of outspoken families filed their suit, the park was quick to react.

One of their first decisions was to introduce a new a new 'land' to their parks.  Starting July 4, families can head to the back of the park and enjoy Tinkletown, a family theme pee-pee friendly area of the park where incontinent adults and infants alike can pee their pants to their hearts delight without disrupting anyone else in the process.  If you'll take note of the map above, Tinkletown has been marked off in yellow.  Disney also has another portion of the park blocked off for construction as well, though their plans for that space (shown in the upper left hand corner) had yet to be announced by press time today.  We can only imagine it's some sort of Willy-Wonka style chocolate themed part of the park.  Only time will tell though, as the company still remains tight cheeked about their plans.  Err, tight lipped.  Tight lipped.

The area of the park promises to offer several rides that are potty-training related.  While many consider this disgusting, "no one said they had to go there to begin with.  You don't want to see a bunch of kids pissing in public?  Don't come to Disneyland," said Ralph McGinney, Park Operations Manager.  Ground has been broken on the main attraction of the area, the Tinkle Toilet, an over-sized toilet with enough room for 600 asses.  While the toilet is there just for show, the company hopes it will serve as a metaphor for their changing image.  Other installments include Whiz-kids, a laser tag themed pee-entertainment game where kids use their 'pee' shooter to take down their enemies.  Parents will also enjoy The Leaky Faucet and Slippery's Saloon where families can enjoy a complimentary Wii, the puddle jumping room, and Husky's Snow Melt Snow Cones.

While many inside analysts see this as a financial disaster waiting to happen, the company remains optimistic about the potential for brand integration, already tapping Tinkerbell from the famous Peter Pan story as their spokes...fairy?  While many seem confused by the first renderings available, Disney's in house advertising company stands by their work.  "It's a tricky thing, depicting a fairy peeing as a way to honor the company.  We felt a bit like we were doing those terrible Calvin and Hobbes stickers where one of them is peeing on a Ford or Chevy logo.  I guess this is slightly classier."  Slightly. 

One thing is certain however, after seeing these sweeping changes firsthand: the big bad companies of yesteryear are making every effort they can to retain your business in this shrinkage economy.   And with more and more Americans watching how they spend, strides like this can only lead to greater customer loyalty over time. 

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