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Saturday, July 25, 2009

The new Fugees

You have to hand it to Mohammed Johry, Abdel Had Kahjary Mulloul and Ashraf Sekkaki for escaping from a prison in a helicopter. It sounds so much like a Michael Bay movie I almost couldn't believe it when I read it. The only thing it's missing is a big explosion and a terrible performance by a former sit-com actor.

The really funny part about this though is that apparently helicopter associated break-outs are quite common. This lead me to ask the question: what kind of fucking morons work at these prisons that they leave inmates unguarded around an aircraft? I think it would play out a little like this...

Inmate: Hey, nice chopper.
Guard: It's a chopper.
Inmate: Yes, I said that.
Guard: Neato pants. They are orange.
Inmate: So are both my friends pants. We want to take a ride in the chopper.
Guard: I can't fly it.
Inmate: I can. May I borrow it?

The guard deliberates. Then, cautiously...

Guard: Well, okay, but you have to promise to bring it back. The last guy didn't and I got in a whole mess of trouble.

and scene.

I'm not saying I'm happy that convicts are on the loose here. If anything, I'm saying that the penal system of Europe (and for that matter the U.S.) needs to step their game up. Or, jeez, I don't know, ditch the freaking helicopters! What prison has a helicopter?! Do they teach the inmates avionics or something? Cause couple that with a class in problem solving and you're training your inmates to break out!

I'm just saying, is all...

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