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Saturday, July 04, 2009

Happy Birthday, America

As our nation turns 233 years old today, I'm almost surprised our people haven't ditched her to find a younger, more supple bed mate. Alas, it looks like she's hear to stay though, so to you, greatest nation on the planet (and still one of the youngest, hubba hubba), happy birthday and many happy returns.

I think it's also important we mention our troops today- both past and present. Without these daring men and women, we wouldn't be able to enjoy many of the simple pleasures we do on a daily basis. And while we all may not support the war (or any for that matter), that doesn't mean we can't support the people who are involved with it. After all, they're some of the few that have to work today! The least we can do is raise our glasses in thanks.

In other less-serious news today...Bob Barker turned 233 years old as well. Doctors credit his good health to his astounding collection of nutless cats and dogs, claiming that, "any man that has accrued that many ball-less animals has to know something we don't." While his efforts to curb the pet population were nothing short of inspiring over the course of his career, many activists claim Barker went too far. David Fartner, father of three, and rabid pet enthusiast, of Lansing Hills, MI had this to say:

"Where are the balls, Bob? Where are they! You can't just collect nuts for 50 years and expect no one to notice. Cough 'em up."

While we here at Great Scott agree there is foul play afoot, come on! give the guy a break. It's his birthday for christ sake! Besides, he was here when America was born. Or rather, our world began the day Bob Barker set foot on planet earth.

I'm Sigorney Weaver for Great Scott, reporting.

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