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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Jon plus 4, Kate plus 4

On the heels of their divorce announcement earlier today, TLC's Jon and Kate Plus 8 will be on hiatus until August.

Yes you read that correctly. The show isn't canceled, they're just "on a break." Ross and Rachel must be rolling over in their graves.

Far be it for these two money hungry freaks to cancel the show all together, given that, oh I don't know, THEY HAVE 8 FUCKING KIDS TO RAISE. But the couple decided the best plan of action was to take a break. Jon plans on doing a movie for Spike TV entitled "Can I Get A Refund," whereas Kate is in talks with Lifetime and Oxygen TV to create her own Oprah-style network where she can unabashedly denounce men, being straight, and anything without an elastic waistband. Ad sales are already through the roof, which, ironically, Jon has to fix per the divorce agreement.

No, but seriously, Jon and Kate: LISTEN UP FOR A SECOND.

You've got 8 kids for fucks sake. Maybe they're not yours, I don't know. Hollywood has done stranger things. And if that is the case, I haven't seen this many little people working since The Wizard of Oz when they were called something entirely different and inapropriate. But if they are your babies, you owe it to them to try and reconcile and raise them to the best of your ability. Even if you hate each other. Cause it's not about you anymore. You've got your magazine covers, your scandals, your divorce; you got everything you wanted. But your kids? You've already ruined their lives enough, creating a TV show around what was supposed to be a very beautiful thing. Now you'll only see them 2 weeks a month? And probably still with cameras!? Fuck you. You're what's wrong with America. I hope your kids do some awesome VH1 special someday and trash both of you for being horrible horrible role models.

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