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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Oprah to world: Sometimes, I'm an idiot

Far be it for me to say, "neener neener neener" to the tune of 'Ring around the Rosies,' but Hallelujah! It's about damn time Oprah apologized to James Frey for completely ruining his career and making a mockery of his name.

I'm not here to flat out hate on Oprah. That's not what I do. She's got a lot of good things going for her, and does a whole heck of a lot of good for the world. But sometimes I feel like what she does comes with a sense of sumgness. Like, she's saying "look at what I did and you didn't." That was her motivation to oust Frey. "Look what I dug up. Not only does this make me look like I'm on the side of good, but if I talk about it before anyone else does, it doesn't tarnish the god-like name of OPRAH." And since the majority of her viewing audience is lemmings, they regurgitate whatever she says as the word of God. "Did you hear? That book is LIES! LIES I TELL YOU!" They cackle and steal away into the night woods. But they come creeping back out every day at 3 pm for their fix.

But anyway. Listen: we get it. And Oprah? We're impressed, okay? You're tough. Quit flexing. What you did to Frey is a perfect example of just how absolute your power is. And now you know just how awesome it can be. So I plead with you, for the future, don't just hang people out to dry if you think it can save your reputation/television program. His book helped people. Legitimately. And when a book helps someone, the fact that it may partially be fictitious becomes completely irrelevant.

Furthermore, you should personally pay Frey back all the money he's owed. Give the man his life back. After all, he had one before you took it away. Make it a big gesture. Cut a ribbon. Put it on your show. He can help dedicate a school in Namibia.

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