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Monday, August 25, 2008

Hazaa for the Shopkeep!

Arpil of 2007, I starred in a short horror/comedy called "The Paranormalists," produced by those fine young cannibals at Tomorrow the World. Since it's completion, we've been selected to the Dragon*con film festival in Atlanta, GA.

For more details on the film, simply click these blue words.

For specific info on my film, simply click these eerily similar blue words.

Thanks in advance to everyone on our crew, my talented co-stars, and the producing/directing genius Matt Bolish.

Finally, for showtimes (of which there is one), simply click these additionally similar and additionally eerie words. Please note that my film is in a non-block screening, falling on Day 2 @ 5:30 PM. Our film will be shown in conjunction with one of the only features showing at the fest: Red Victoria.

If you're in Atlanta over labor day weekend, head on over and check it out. Location and hotel arrangements can be found by, you guessed it, clicking these itty bitty blue words.

Friday, August 22, 2008


This Sunday, the one billionth Olympiad comes to a close. I couldn't be happier, personally, as it seems like the only event NBC wants to broadcast is beach volleyball. I've got no problem with beach volleyball. I actually enjoy it. What I have a problem with is the fact that I haven't seen 1 Redeem Team game, one javelin thrown, one discus spun. It's bull shit. The Olympics aren't about speed walking and bmx biking (though you'd be hard pressed to tell anyone otherwise), rather the Olympics are about all those ancient Greek games we once did- and cared about. The decathalon. The Marathon. Things that sound like Greek gods from the outset.

Not that volleyball is without it's merits...

In fact, I've noticed that in all the female sports I watch, they're wearing next to nothing. And hell, if I have to sit there and watch 2 hours of volleyball a night, there better be some T & A. And this trend seems to sweep across the board. All the female athletes are wearing less and getting hotter by each Olympic game. And I guess it makes sense...the winter Olympics isn't exactly a 'show some skin affair,' so they have to make up for it in the summer, appeasing all the child molesters in the world with scantily clad gymnasts, divers, volleyball players, and deliciously thick softball players.

She's good with oversized balls.

Yet a twinge of irony still hangs over these games every year. From the middle eastern track stars wearing head to toe Burqas, slowing them down immensely, to the firewalled itunes due to a Free Tibet mix that was released to the athletes, it almost seems like we're pushing and pulling at the same time. In one sense, our American women put their bodies on display, while we sit back and watch the rest of the world get oppressed. Worse yet- they still only show volleyball!

So when the Olympics come to a close this weekend, be thankful that you won't see Michael Pheelps 24/7 anymore. Be thankful that somewhere in the world little girls won't see softball as a 'career path.' Be thankful that by the next Olympics the volleyball players will be wearing nothing but paisleys and a blur mark on their nether-region.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Burger Time for Kanye West

Earlier today, it was announced that Kanye West would be co-opening a Fatburger Restaurant in Chicago. Read the full article here. Greater Chicago-land area residents should be jumping for joy that the formidable chain has made it's way from California to the midwest. These burgers are superb. Arguably the best fast food burger I've ever eaten, as noted in my LA's Best write up just last year.

As you can see by the screen shot above, Kanye has his work cut out for him, having to assemble several burgers before the salt shaker or egg crosses his path and he meets his most certain doom. And don't even get me started about hot dogs chasing you around (how the phallic driven theme of weiners chasing you got into a kids video game is well beyond me). Yet somehow I don't think this will be much of a problem for Kanye, as he continually boasts his blue-collar youth. I'm sure flipping burgers is a sight none too familiar for him. Kudos, Kanye, you got your real job back. And this is eerily reminiscent of Greg Garcia's (the creator of My Name is Earl) stint at Burger King flipping burgers during the strike. Who's next? Michael Jordan already did McDonalds, and Jared conquered Subway, so we're running out of places where these former-greats can find a home.

change points to dollars

In any event, this seems to stay true with Kanye's career thus far: taking something that is extremely "pop" and taking it to some strange new height. In this case, he'll take full credit for introducing Fatburger to an entire new audience of already fat people. That should end well, with Kanye sitting in front of a federal grand jury, swearing, under oath mind you, that he is the living incarnation of the "triple king burger." For those of you keeping score, that's 3 1/2 pound patties and three slices of cheese. Or maybe they're pound patties. Either way, yuck. But the plus side is, they'll hang your picture on the wall so everyone can see just how hideously obese you once were.

Now, if only he could figure out how to get Daft Punk on the jukebox, he'd have another #1.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Great Scott: Static Fragments

Once again, my drivel has somehow found it's way onto Passion of the Weiss. God he makes me feel special. Like new implants or a robotic dog.

Anyway, I hate viral video and I talk about it there. Go give it a read! And have one of those amazing days that only infants have. Let someone push you around on a stroller. Spill on yourself. Shit your pants. Then cry.

After a good burp and a nap, you'll be ready for Wednesday.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Culinary Cunning: Las Papas and Beer

Restaurant: Las Papas and Beer (potatoes and beer, best name ever)
Location: 7015 Melrose Ave. Los Angeles, CA 90038
Phone: (323) 932-9768

The Breakdown:

Home of the best taquitos de camarones (shrimp taquitos) this side of the Great Wall of America, this simple yet affordable Tex-Mex restaurant delivers nothing but top notch food at a reasonable price. This is easily the best Tex-Mex I've had in L.A., surpassing my favorite go-to spot, El Coyote. In El Coyote's defense, they do have a liquor license, so you can get a fantastic margarita there, but the food at Papas beats it hands down.

And who needs margaritas when you can get flvored blended wine based drinks and 4 dollar 32 oz. beers? Booze aside, the food at Papas is the best in town, and you'll never wait for a table. A group of friends and I have gone there over 20 times in the past 4 months, and we try not to order the same thing twice. And guess what? They continue to impress me with every dish they serve (and the complimentary chips and bean dip doesn't hurt either). Their tortilla soup? Traditional and fantastic. Their tacos? It's like finding god. Their corn cake? Your corn cake! Get some!

They also boast 4 huge tvs (both inside and on the patio) that are always tuned-in to sports, sports center, or the likes there of. It's the perfect place to post up and watch a game. You can sit all day and get hammered for less than 20 bucks.

All in all, it's an affordable place, great for families, dates, family dates, and worth every peso. Total cost for a meal for 4 (with appetizers and drinks)...75 bucks. That includes tip! I mean, this place is a steal.

The Future of Papas?:

Papas and Beer is never as crowded as I want it to be. So if you go, and you like it, tell your friends. That's the only way we'll be able to keep these guys in business. Hell, invite this humble author, he'd go. Or look for him there. Chances are if it's a Sunday afternoon, he'll be drinking beers enjoying the best Tex-Mex in town.

Live from your esophagus, this is Scott Towler, reporting.