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Monday, March 31, 2008

Dodgers at the Coliseum

115,000 people can't be wrong...

This weekend I took in the Dodgers/Red Sox game at the Coliseum down at the Unviersity of Southern California. While I had heard USC's Coliseum was basically one giant party, I had no idea what they meant.

Luckily it was a bit tamer than a giant frat party. There were more families, everyone was maybe a little bit more sober than a group of college drunks. Anyway, I had three issues with that place that will hopefully make it run a bit smoother next time.

50 bucks to park?

Fark that noise. I'll pay fifty dollars to park when it's my own driveway and my kid has been out shoveling show off it all day. Even then, I'd tell him he should go out and get a job if he wants fifty bucks. What does a 10 year old need with fifty bucks anyway? Is my child a drug addict? Where's this supposed 'wife' I have, and why did she help me procreate a drug addict child?

These are just some of the questions that come to mind when I see a sign that says "Cheap Parking here- $50!" Yeah, right. What got me was all the hood rats standing in their yards saying, park in my yard- 10 bucks. Yeah, so my car can get stripped and sold for spare parts while I half enjoy wading through 100 thousand people? No thanks.

Could I get a tinier beer?

I'm not sure how they get away with charging 10 dollars a beer ANYWHERE, unless it's in Germany and you get one of those Giant boots. That could be worth it. But 10 bucks for a 14 oz cup of flat MGD? Who the funk n' wagnalls do they think they're fooling? Mind you, I did have a few beers, but it became very clear very quickly that I wasn't going to get drunk at this game. And it made me sad.

No cash, no service

Since when does everywhere in the world not take credit? They were like, "no credit, but we have ATMs all over the stadium." Really? Then why not put a credit card machine in the fucking food area? Couldn't hurt. Unless you don't want a paper trail...maybe the Coliseum is just a drug ring. And maybe all the guys that work the parking lots are the drug lords that were put out of work by an off season sporting event in their fine neighborhood.

Either way, I had fun. And I know you wish you were there. But you weren't. SUCKERS!

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