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Thursday, September 20, 2007

they really thought this one through

Well, they've done it. The same people that brought you seedless water melons, minature ponies, and white people bring you Vulva: vaginal scent. I can't take credit for finding this one folks. Sadly, and I'll never admit it again, but I came across it on TMZ and just had to share.

It gets even better once you pop over to their site, Smell me and .com. Just a warning, this is NSFW, unless you work in entertainment and yours cube mate likes porn as much as you do.

Anyway, not since Spanish Fly has there been such a break through in vaginal scent technology. And I wish this was a SNL ad or something, but it's not. It's the real deal.

Visiting the site, you can watch an info-mercial of sorts about what to do with the product. They make it very clear that it is NOT a perfume, but rather just the scent of a vagina that you put on your wrist, take a sniff of, and then I guess it makes you want to instantly eat pu**y.

But it has scientists at Scott's Blizzog wondering, what about all those stinky pu**ies out there? Well, from the makers of Vulva comes Arm Douche.

Yes, Arm Douche- a product designed to clean the fake pu**y smell off your arm. It even comes in a real working douche so you can kill two birds with one stone.

Tired of douching your arm? Then quit getting fake pu**y all over it!

And for you gents out there that need a synthetic smell of a pu**y before you're in the mood to actually work with a real one, might I suggest getting a blow up doll and covering her hee hee hole with it. It'll bring your fake pu**y one step closer to being real, though it will still be many many steps away from being sane. Or erotic. In fact, if you fuck a balloon with a fake peesh on it, you're a weirdo. Go buy Vulva and lick your wrist.

Coming next fall: Ode du DICK. Yes ladies, now you can finally get the smell of dick all over your hands. Now, after your boyfriend kicks you out, you can come home with pride knowing your hands were full of dick. Or at least they smell that way.

How did scientists create the smell? A group of chronic masturbators spent hours in a lab jerking off, then smelling their hands. After many tests, and even more failures, it was determined that the main ingredient would be sweat, coupled with a twinge of banana and some lilac.

Searching for that fake semen hand-moisturizer? Aren't we all! Now you can get your bottle of Ode du DICK in a phallus shaped bottle. It dispenses from the tip- just like in real life! Wow, a product we can all really use!

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