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Thursday, September 27, 2007

Ave Q 9/26/07

Last night my roommate and I had the pleasure of taking in one of Broadway's newest musical smashes, Avenue Q, at the Ahmanson Theatre. You can learn more about it, get tickets and show times, and all that jazz at the Center Theatre Group's website.

Winning the Tony for best new musical, I knew this was a show I had to see, especially considering my musical theatre roots (of which I don't discuss too much for obvious reasons.) I've included a video that they used to run before the London perfomances. It doesn't run anymore, but it should shed some light on just what exactly this musical thing is all about.

But still, as you look at the photo above, and what I wondered from the get go, could I really sit there and get past the fact that there were people visible behind these puppets, singing and moving with them?

The results were shocking, honestly. You get to a point where you forget the actors are there- you tune them out. Or better yet- when a puppet takes 2 people to operate it, as some do, you can revel in the sheer creative brilliance that derives from two performers working in unison. Call it the acting version of a syncopated melody.

My common complaint about musicals is that they run too long. Even the funny ones. After 2 & 1/2 hours, I find myself uncomfortable and ready to leave. Avenue Q ran at about 2 hours- perfect length for this type of show. And because it was so funny and creative in it's performance, it didn't even feel that long.

The music was great, and I found many of the songs interesting from start to finish. Most musicals often hit that low point where the female lead sings some ballad no one cares about, or a song that could be one line long and it would serve the same purpose. Not here. In fact, I almost liked the ballads more than the actual up beat "musical-y" songs.

All in all, it's a show worth seeing cause it takes ideas from our youth like Sesame Street, Electric Company, and The Muppets come to life. No, this isn't a show to bring your kids to, but at the same time, I'd leave Grandma at home too. Something about seeing 2 puppets fuck always gets to me.

Wanna hear more? Give the soundtrack a listen, or go check it out while it's still playing in Los Angeles, on Broadway, or in London.

Download the Original Broadway Cast Recording

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Great Scott!

I'm at it again! Head on over to Passion of the Weiss and see what I have in store for today.

I'm stuck at my bosses house fixing his computer, but will try and have some new content here tomorrow!

Cheers and happy reading!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

they really thought this one through

Well, they've done it. The same people that brought you seedless water melons, minature ponies, and white people bring you Vulva: vaginal scent. I can't take credit for finding this one folks. Sadly, and I'll never admit it again, but I came across it on TMZ and just had to share.

It gets even better once you pop over to their site, Smell me and .com. Just a warning, this is NSFW, unless you work in entertainment and yours cube mate likes porn as much as you do.

Anyway, not since Spanish Fly has there been such a break through in vaginal scent technology. And I wish this was a SNL ad or something, but it's not. It's the real deal.

Visiting the site, you can watch an info-mercial of sorts about what to do with the product. They make it very clear that it is NOT a perfume, but rather just the scent of a vagina that you put on your wrist, take a sniff of, and then I guess it makes you want to instantly eat pu**y.

But it has scientists at Scott's Blizzog wondering, what about all those stinky pu**ies out there? Well, from the makers of Vulva comes Arm Douche.

Yes, Arm Douche- a product designed to clean the fake pu**y smell off your arm. It even comes in a real working douche so you can kill two birds with one stone.

Tired of douching your arm? Then quit getting fake pu**y all over it!

And for you gents out there that need a synthetic smell of a pu**y before you're in the mood to actually work with a real one, might I suggest getting a blow up doll and covering her hee hee hole with it. It'll bring your fake pu**y one step closer to being real, though it will still be many many steps away from being sane. Or erotic. In fact, if you fuck a balloon with a fake peesh on it, you're a weirdo. Go buy Vulva and lick your wrist.

Coming next fall: Ode du DICK. Yes ladies, now you can finally get the smell of dick all over your hands. Now, after your boyfriend kicks you out, you can come home with pride knowing your hands were full of dick. Or at least they smell that way.

How did scientists create the smell? A group of chronic masturbators spent hours in a lab jerking off, then smelling their hands. After many tests, and even more failures, it was determined that the main ingredient would be sweat, coupled with a twinge of banana and some lilac.

Searching for that fake semen hand-moisturizer? Aren't we all! Now you can get your bottle of Ode du DICK in a phallus shaped bottle. It dispenses from the tip- just like in real life! Wow, a product we can all really use!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

NS goes big time in DC with ESL

While I admit yesterday's post was a bit malicious, I stand by what I said, and am more than willing to rebut anyone who'd like to challenge any of the statements I made. With that said, I didn't even do Emmy night justice...I just couldn't. It hurt too much to see my industry, my trade, my life TRIVIALIZED by Fox. So I'll leave it at that, and just going on in quiet contempt.

Today brings us joyous news however, as DC based artist (and long time pal of mine) Nikolas Schiller made a major move in both the art and music world. You might recognize the name Nik Schiller. I sure do. He's my friend. But you might as he's become one of the most active people in the DC area, championing small business against Wal-Mart, creating unique cartographic imagery through tessellation, and being covered in the press for years now as "DC's Colonist." (note the tri-corn cap)

And beside all of his political conquests, and his collection of maps on file with the library of Congress, he's entered new ground pioneering his art in the music world. Just recently, Nik inked a deal with ESL records for his artwork to appear as a sleeve for a vinyl remix they released.

Not only is this awesome news for him, but it also means that you too can own a piece of his artwork for your wall for the mere cost of 8 dollars. Better yet- it comes with music too! Obviously by this point, the vast majority of anyone 'in the know' is aware of Thievery Corporation, but the other DJ, Nickodemus, who's recent visit to LA I documented on this very blog, also remixes a track.

Everyone here at Scott's Blizzog wishes the best for Nik in his future endeavors, but more importantly- we're glad to see that his efforts are paying off already!

Monday, September 17, 2007

The 2007 Emmy's: how could they get any worse?

Aside from the fact that Family Guy clearly and maliciously bashed the show I work for (in the above video, 2nd verse of the song), I had high hopes for this years Emmy broadcast. Between the end of an era with the Sopranos, the beginning of a new era with 30Rock, and Kathy Griffin's acceptance speech, I thought this years could be the best ever. I was more wrong than I could have ever expected.

Right from the start I knew we were in trouble. Fox's cross promotional BS extravaganza started rolling down hill as soon as Seacrest called it an American Idol results show. Not to mention the fact that they put the show in the round. The hope behind this, of course, was that people would pay attention, as they would be on screen the entire time. But what they didn't tell us is that they didn't put any presenters or nominees in the back. Rather, they reserved those seats for the nominees agents, managers, and signifigant others. Quite ridiculous if you ask me. At one point, after James Spader beat James Galdolfini (don't even get me started), he commented, "you know, I've been to 1000 concerts, and these are the worst seats I've ever had."

But between Family guy kicking it off, Wayne Brady coming out to talk about his show, and Seacrest making Idol jokes, it was clear that Fox had given up on the idea of doing anything worthwhile. Rather, they just thrust as much of their own bull shit propaganda into the show, making it feel cheaper than ever.

There was some good to come out of the show...Sopranos was recognized as best drama, and perhaps the most shocking (but the most satisfying), 30Rock won for best Comedy. It's about freaking time we got some payback as Sally Field beat- again, BEAT Edie Falco for best female actress in a drama.

I won't prattle on about the ceremony, or who wore what, or even how pissed I am, but what I will say is that at 9:30 last night, when I realized the show was only half over, I wanted to blow my brains out.

I'll close by saying that the biggest injustice last evening was that America Ferrera beat out Tina Fey, Julia Louise-Dreyfus, and Mary Louise-Parker for best actress in a comedy series. But Ugly Betty is an hour long show on a network that wouldn't know funny if it slapped them in the tits. NEWSFLASH HOLLYWOOD: If it's an hour long, I don't care how funny it's a drama. This is the same thing that happened a few years ago when Desperate Housewives beat Arrested Development for best comedy. Desperate Housewives is NOT a comedy. Anyone who calls it one, or Ugly Betty for that matter, is less than intelligent.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not being malicious here, but that's a tricky thing for a network to do. It's a cheap ploy for ratings and awards because shows like that don't fall into a category. And maybe it's just me, but that means 1 of 2 things: either it has to be put into the category that 'best' suits it, which is BS, or HEY- it doesn't get nominated for an award! And would that really be so bad? Does Ugly Betty really need an award? Plenty of idiots will watch it either way.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

3:10 to Yuma

Last night I took it what many are considering the first of the 'fall films' this season. We all know the type...the prestige pictures that many studios release in hopes that it will garner them votes come Oscar time so that they may make more money in order to make more films that subsequently make them more money. It's a tired ideology, and an antiquated approach to movie releasing, but what can you do?

Summer movies will always be summer movies. In fact, you'd be hard pressed to find a summer blockbuster after Labor Day, save for the perpetual onslaught of horror movies since 2000, and my personal favorite D-War which comes out this weekend. But D-War is an anomaly in and of itself. Transformers could never debut in September and expect anything short of a disappointment. Conversely, try putting Schindler's List in July and see how well it does.

3:10 to Yuma is a special case however, and it's release date has been deliberated over for quite some time. I'm sure many of you have heard the dichotomy that was this movie, the ongoing battle between Russell Crowe and Loinsgate Pictures, Crowe wanting a later release date (for a more legitimate shot at another Oscar), and Lionsgate wanting to push the release to compete with the upcoming The Outlaw Jesse James. In case you missed the drama, it's been all over the press. You can find out about it here, about midway down the page, here, or here.

After it was all said and done, Crowe lost the battle, and his picture debut last weekend, winning the box office, but with pitiful numbers. The film was pretty good if you ask me. I was intrigued the whole way through. The characters were compelling, the acting was great, and the setting (as with all westerns) always gets me.

But 14 million for a drama in September? That should be praise enough. Traditionally, August and February are months where films go to die. September isn't much better either, so I'm pleased to see this movie fared as well as it did.

If you get the chance, go check it out. It's definitely one of those movies you'll want to see on the big screen. Plus, it beats the previews for American Gangster which looks like another laugh out loud Spike Lee Black Supremacist movie...which we all know I love.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

God Bless America

This video is entitled, "Internet People! - The Meth Minute 39" and I have San Russell to thank for tracking it down.

Kinda makes you wonder why we have the internet...I mean, I recognized at least half of these as actual videos I've seen. Embarassing that my life has become as simple as this. Oh, and also awesome.

New Virus May Be Killing Bees

Yahoo News reported today that a new virus may be killing off bees, explaining why we may have seen less bees this summer than previous years. An excerpt of the article:

"While the virus probably does not alone account for what scientists call colony collapse disorder, or CCD, it could help explain what is happening to bees across the United States, they said...CCD hit an estimated 23 percent of all beekeeping operations in the United States during the winter of 2006-7. "These beekeepers lost an average of 45 percent of their operations," the researchers wrote in their report, published in the journal Science.

Beekeepers do not find bees dead -- they simply find the hives nearly empty, with the queens alone and workers gone.

So just where are all these bees going? Why did it happen this year and not many years before? Is this just a part of the natural course of life? Scientists may say yes, but I think Hollywood is to blame.

Killer Bees

Since I can remember, Hollywood has tried to seduce the insect population to work for 'the biz.' Dating as far back as the Wu-Tang Clan hit, "Killer Bees," it's easy to see that this seduction didn't come easily. Killer Bees, while a successful cross over single for the Clan of Wu in many white suburban communities, it didn't have a far reaching enough impact to get the bees behind the biz (or buzz in this case).

A short time thereafter, they tried a more extrovertive approach, blatantly dressing an ugly little girl as a bee. Their mindset: if she can do it, anyone can! Yes bees...come to Hollywood, land of dreams and pollen, of queen bees and honey pots.

Shrouded in music videos and crappy catchy pop songs, their guise still wasn't enough. The Hollywood 'bee craze' of the mid 90s came and went, and the bee population returned to their normal functionality: making and producing delicious ass honey. And no I don't mean delicious-ass honey, as if delicious-ass were the adjective.

Recently though, we've seen quite an upswing in bee themed enetertainment, culminating in the recent announcent (and screening of) Jerry Seinfeld's Bee Movie.

This film attracted 1000s of bee extras, 100s of queens, and even a few gay bees as well. Since the film went into production, and after Tom Cruise took the wheel, over 100,000 bees have died, or gone missing...never to bee seen or heard from again.

I found it odd that no one had put 2 and 2 together before. It's clear that these bees are shifting their migratory patterns to wind up out west...but the country's honey production has suffered because of it. And not to sound like Karl Marx, but these bees should know their place.

I'm Cuban, B!

I mean, it's not as if I can just go join a colony of bees and help make honey. That just doesn't make sense. Plus I'd get a lot of weird looks from bees...some wondering if I'd lost my mind, others noting that they should sting me for even entering their realm.

And this reporter is inclined to agree. So before we call every industry in the universe 'equal opportunity,' sit back and think about what it does to the people that might be most qualified to work in that said profession. If we can't be bees, then they can't take jobs in entertainment away from me.

Passion of the Weiss reaches the 22nd century

Jeff Weiss circa 1942

Hey everyone...the blog has taken a back seat this week as I was in Chicago, and now am apathetically back in Los Angeles with little to no drive. I know what you're thinking: what else is new?

Well, I'll tell ya what else is new: My friend and good buddy, Jeff "Passion" Weiss has rolled out the red carpet for Passion of the Weiss, bringing it into the 22 century of html programming. I know you all have been fans of the site for ages, but it just got that much better.

So if you've got the time (and I know you do, or you wouldn't be here), come on down to his freshly updated page and show some love IP-address style.

Expect a new blog here sometime today or tomorrow. Cheers!